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A special essay by NJ My Way contributor Pamela Principe-Golgolab

I grew up in an Italian family where holidays meant sitting for hours at the gilded table that extended from the dining room out into the living room in a long Brooklyn duplex. The adults sat at the head of the table and the ages trickled down to the “kiddie table,” where you stayed even into your twenties unless someone passed on or, like my husband, found favor with an elder family member who just had to have him near.

Meals began with the antipasto, then soup, then pasta and meatballs, and concluded with the debut of the “bird” with all the trimmings.

The women did the dishes by hand while catching up on the latest gossip and the men watched football, discussed politics or just snuck off for a nap, while the cousins played or spat about the latest and greatest things in their lives.

Eventually I took over the tradition, having Thanksgiving at our house or catering the entire meal when we went to the in-laws.

So, yes, it was weird when my Polish aunt, who had hosted holidays in a small kitchen for years and enjoyed my feast on many occasions, said, “Let’s spend this Thanksgiving at a restaurant.”

While the idea of “no cooking and no cleaning” seemed good, it was still odd. There was no list of things to do, no ordering of the bird, no waiting in line shopping for the trimmings, no marathon baking or cleaning the house to the point that no one could move without a wry look from me, Swiffer in hand

When my sons woke Thanksgiving morning, they said it was too quiet.  And yes, it was, yet peaceful in its own eerie way as we had our morning coffee and leisurely enjoyed breakfast while staring at the cold idle stove that by now should have been stuffed with a bird perfectly seasoned and enjoying its long warm sleep.

Finally, we ventured off to the restaurant, where we joined our family and more than 200 other guests for a fabulous buffet feast. It had it all—from the carved turkey and ham with fixings to seafood, chicken and leg of lamb.  Definitely more than what we could have cooked and so much more than what was served during the original Thanksgiving meal. We clinked our glasses, toasted our aunt for making the reservations, enjoyed our meal, then gathered our belongings to leave.

And as we hugged and kissed outside, my aunt pronounced the immortal words: “Are you coming back to my house?”

We all smiled and said yes. And as if …we already knew.

When we pulled in, the trunks opened and out came the pies, the cakes, the wine, and the munchies.  While the ladies piled into her cramped kitchen, putting out glasses and plates and opening up folding chairs, the kids and the guys ventured off to the little TV room to watch the game and, as my Dad says, “catch 40 winks.”

We chatted, we laughed, we caught up, the doorbell rang, more friends arrived. And all the while, I just kept thinking—would I go to a restaurant again for Thanksgiving? 

Probably. As long as we head to a home afterwards, clamoring around the table with family and friends.

One trend among wine lovers: move your collection out of the dank basement into a wine room nice enough to host a tasting or just sip and munch with friends.

But can you “cellar” age-worthy bottles upstairs? Mass produced storage systems provide the high humidity and cool temperatures that case of ’61 Margaux needs—but in an appliance that looks like a refrigerator. Not what you want next to the antique table and stuffed chairs.

So last Saturday Jason Spages called in jazz musicians, served wine, cheese and charcuterie—and showed wine room options at his Boonton shop, Vino Fine Wines (www.vinofinewines.com).

Master craftsmen Dezi Folenta and Peter Jackson brought Cella Vino cabinets from their Chatham workshop (www.springstreetdezigns.com). Inside, a digitally controlled chiller keeps bottles happy. Outside, these are pieces of fine furniture, with rich wood finishes and carvings or moldings according to a customer’s preference. Open and close a glass door: you feel the quality.

“Cellars are for storage,” Peter Jackson says. With their cabinetry, “you can sit and taste in a great space while keeping your wine optimal in a beautiful piece of furniture.”

They’re expensive pieces of furniture, starting at $9,000 for a cabinet that stores 160 bottles.  The largest one holds 640.

Also at Vino was Valerie Matthews, a Morris County interior decorator (973-335-7339) who starts with Cella Vino’s cabinetry and goes on to design the entire wine room. “It’s all about creating an ambience,” she says. “Food and wine taste better in a beautifully designed space.”

Of course, food and wine taste better when it’s… better food and wine. That’s where Jason comes in. His store specializes in accessibly priced, high quality bottlings from small producers.  

So if ’61 Margaux is not your cup of tea (a case costs as much as a high-end Cella Vino piece), Jason and his staff, Mike Oates and Sue Olsen, would love to find you an undiscovered Oregon Pinot for that wine room you’ve been thinking about. Or maybe just to pair with a steak tonight.

The cavemen had it right.

They huddled by the fire cooking the kill of the day, sharing stories, snoozing under the stars. Staring at the flames, humankind bonded.

We’ve since swapped loin cloths for designer clothes, and replaced the kill with the catch of the day. But our archetypal need for a warm fire persists.

The makers of the chat pit know this. O.W. Lee (www.owlee.com), the California manufacturer of outdoor furniture, created a table that holds its own bonfire. Gas or wood, copper or mosaic, the table encircles the fire and we sit around the table.

Garden Cottage, in Fairfield (www.teakwickerandmore.com), sells chat pits to homeowners who want to create a “relaxing atmosphere” in their yards, according to sales associate Chris Manley. The gas chat pits come with an end table, which cleverly disguises the propane tank. Then you need matching outdoor chairs. You don’t plan on sitting on the ground to roast your wienies, do you?

Top-of-the-line clan-building doesn’t come cheap. O.W. Lee’s tables run up to $4,200. Or, you can get smaller, less expensive fire pits and chimeneas for a few hundred dollars. Garden Cottage carries some 60 models.

Finally, consider adding this season’s hot seller, the Dune Day Bed, by Barlow Tyrie, (www.teak.com). Plus, a top that looks like a sail. You’ll need about $6,000 for the bed and sail.

But think about crashing in your day bed, fire burning bright in the chat pit. Nesting takes on a whole new meaning. Just keep your loin cloth on. You never know when a neighboring tribe will be by to visit.